The Republic of South Sudan is officially the newest nation on earth. Steven stayed up until 4 am just to watch live streaming of the celebrations taking place in Juba, Sudan.
People were singing, dancing, decked out in their cultural attire and even weeping openly. For most of us, we are happy for them. We think its nice that they get to have their own flag now, and even add a few more words to the official title of the country. We think its just wonderful that they feel so happy.
But knowing the darker side of that countries history, I am more than just happy. My heart actually aches for them. Aches because for the last several decades, ALL these people have known is war, land mines, bombs, janjaweed, hiding in the bush for days without food and water, and watching their loved ones die.
We all say things like “you never know what day will be your last”, however that was never more true than for the people of south sudan. They absolutely never knew.
Steven doesn’t like to talk about it much. I have gotten glimpses of his life during the war which he was born into, but I know that look in his eyes when he gives small details. Yes, its sadness and pain in that look, but more than anything, is the acknowledgement that so much life was just wasted. Gone. Precious life was utterly destroyed without so much as a proper burial. They watched as friends and family were gunned down in front of their eyes, and yet instead of mourning, they kept surviving. Hoping someday there would be answers, someday there would be grieving. There would be a justified reason why people who were created in the image of God, were so easy to view as lower, as worthy of the end that was given them.
Some wanted revenge. Some joined the SPLA (sudanese peoples liberation army) to avenge their country and their people. Some fled. Some became refugees living in the northern part of the country (like my husband) in mass displaced person camps for years and years.
This is the internally displaced persons camp Steven lived in from 1989-1999.
These are a people who have struggled for everything. It is no secret that South Sudan is one of poorest and least developed nations on earth. It is no secret that their politics are also fairly corrupt, thanks in part for living in a constant state of war and survival.
But I tell you what, I know this country can heal. I see the steps being taken already, toward wholeness, toward stability, toward forgiveness. Yes, forgiveness.
If Steven and I have one passion, its for reconciliation. To see people forgive and heal. To see countries, tribes, religions move on. Not forget necessarily, but not let it control their futures, their every day lives, and their relationships. It is a known fact that a person who forgives those who have hurt them, are more stable and healthy individuals, often with a longer life expectancy.
Let me tell you about my husband and why he loves reconciliation.
Steven was 8 when his father decided to send him to live in the north, because living in the south had become too dangerous. Steven wasn’t going to school because every few days they had to hide in the bush and wait until it was clear to go back to their home.
His father being an army man and hunter, knew that the situation wasn’t going to get any better any time soon, and felt it best to send Steven to live with distant relatives in the IDP camp called Hadjussef.
Steven wasn’t very sad, as he knew opportunities like this didn’t come to everyone. He was also given the opportunity to study in a catholic school, something which was highly coveted.
But he did miss his family. A lot.
Jereasa, his mother, taught Steven how to be a family man. She instilled in him the desire to raise a family, and she planted in him the notion that women are valuable, helpful, hard working, and respectable. Steven and his mom have always been very close.
Mogga, his father, was a hunter and army man, and taught Steven how to kill for food, and taught him basic survival skills in the midst of african war. He instilled in Steven the importance of education, and knew it was Stevens ticket to survival. Steven said on long journeys, his father and him often had long political and theological discussions, and that his dad taught him how to view the world. He loved and looked up to his dad, much like any son, and especially loved their long hunting trips together.
Steven said his dad taught him how to act in front of a lion, that you should never run, but rather walk by casually because they can always sense fear and weakness.
One of the most important things his father taught him over the years, was to stay away from alcohol. Now, I love a good beer every now and again (obviously not when I am pregnant…) but this is something Steven and I will never share, and we respect each others decisions.
Steven says it all started when his father came home drunk like he normally did one evening, and knowing that it was destroying him and his family, he made Steven promise him, repeatedly, that he would never touch a drop of alcohol. And to this day, Steven never has.
After having been to south sudan numerous times, and seeing army men slinging their AK-47′s around their backs, fully plastered by 9 o’clock in the morning, I understand why “social drinking” doesn’t exist there. There is only survival drinking. Drinking to stop the memories.
Thank God for Stevens parents.
So, Steven was sent up north.
When he was 16, Steven was given the news that his father had been killed. He had been walking with a neighbor through the bush on a hunting trip, and while he was walking in front, the neighbor shot him in the back. After having done this, the neighbor ran back to Mogga’s home, and took all the sheep and goats for himself.
That is why Stevens father was killed. For sheep and goats.
When the news reached Steven, he vowed he would kill this same man. He tried to join the army right away so he could go back and destroy him, but they informed him he was still too young to fight… he needed to be 18. So he waited. Steven has always been a patient man, and he knew that nothing could stop him from finding this man once he was 18, and killing him.
Well, time passed as it normally did in the camp. Slowly. But one day, a revival was set to take place in the city, lead by none other than Reinhard Bonnke. Steven, wanting to see what all the hooplah was about, decided to go and see for himself.
Steven recalls 45,000 attended the event, and it was his first experience with a full blown crusade. He was struck by the words of Bonnke when he said that jesus needed to be a part of his life, that jesus wanted to know him. But also, that jesus commands us to forgive.
Steven agreed with the part about jesus needing to be in his life, and felt like he could do that. So, Steven got saved. But he didn’t like the part about forgiveness. He thought maybe Jesus could just forget about it, just this once, until he had killed his fathers murderer, and then maybe he would consider it.
Steven said he was excited about christ and what he was doing, and to this day, Steven loves Bonnke.
After the crusade finished, Steven started attending church. It was a local church, and the very first sunday there, the pastor starts talking about how christ forgave us, and therefore we need to forgive others. We need to forgive those who have hurt us.
Steven was not amused and thought that the pastor was just saying this because he knew Steven and his story. So he left the church, and found another one the next week.
The following sunday, dressed in his best, Steven was happy to be in a church where nobody knew him or his story, and was glad to just soak up the word. Steven recalls how great the sermon was, how it was all about the love of christ. But then, in mid sentence, the pastor changed his topic, and he started pointing at various people in the church saying “christ forgave us, YOU need to forgive those who have hurt you! YOU need to forgive!”
Steven says when the pastors finger settled on him, he actually turned around to see if the pastor was pointing at someone else, but there was no one behind him. Steven was being called out. And he broke down.
Weeping in the middle of the church’s dirt floor, people left him alone to cry, knowing that something deep and hurtful and awesome was going on.
Steven forgave the man that murdered his dad that day. Steven also forgave the north for the years of war and suffering and death. Steven was and is the most free man I have ever met.
He still has not seen the neighbor who robbed him of a father, but we have a feeling someday we will. I very much plan on being there, in support of my dear husband, but we both know that even more healing is under way, not for Steven so much, but for this man. This man who gained a few goats, but lost his soul.
We pray for that day. We pray for the day when South Sudan as a whole can forgive their captors, release their anger, and move on. We pray for the day that dependence on God and his grace will sweep over that country, and lead the world in an example of reconciliation, beauty, stability and truth.
SO join with us as we celebrate the worlds 193rd nation, the Republic of South Sudan! Steven and I want to be there SO INCREDIBLY MUCH, but we are still awaiting the arrival of dear Jubalee, who is taking her sweet time.
We can’t wait to be there, and see what God is doing. We can’t wait.
